What we've been up to this summer: Winget Women

Winget Women is a retreat for the adult female posterity of my maternal great-grandmother. In years past this has included my grandma and her 4 sisters, their sister-in-laws as the matriarchs and their daughters, granddaughters and great-granddaughters. It is really kind of cool to mingle in a living family tree. I don't think I would have gotten to know some of my mother's cousins and some of my second and third cousins without this tradition.

The original retreat was to escape and play games without the responsibilities of children to look after. Of course the games are just the vehicle for connection. Every family has modes that they gravitate to in spending time together; games is one in my family. But the primary activity is talking: getting acquainted and/or catching up. This hen party does not appeal to everyone naturally; claustrophobia from limited space in the crammed cabin or from limited personal space of mind/time/conversation drives some people away. I was leery myself at first. The initial years I was eligible to go (i.e., 18 or older) I declined. I think this is mainly because my mom and sister raved about it and I was not especially close to my mom at the time. But now I wish I could have been there every year--taken advantage of the times when I was local and had had the means to come when we were not.

Highlights from this particular year for me were playing pinocchle with my mom and aunts; learning a new card game from Anabel; the tribe sharing memories of the matriarchs as this was the first year that they are all gone; lying in bed dissecting the family craziness late into the night with my cousin (and inadvertently getting her back in my sleep for all the times she attacked me while dreaming).

In some ways this is not a restful retreat even though I took a book along and managed to break away and read a bit too. I came home exhausted from little sleep and so much interaction for this introvert. But it is so worth it to me. The only thing that could have made it better was if my own sisters had been there with me. As it was, I got Liz for a couple of hours but none of the others made it this year. We are already talking of our own retreat in years to come with our daughters and the tradition has spawned a couple of Buchert Beauties retreats with my sister-in-laws--another tradition I would love to see take flight.

Family is precious. I know I've said before that every family seems like its own particular brand of train wreck, and that might be true.

But it is a precious mess nevertheless.


My mother's cousin, Fern, holding baby Eden, 1999. (Nursing babies are allowed.)



Sister Susan, moi, and baby Daffodil holding a token game, 2005.



Me in my pajamas with my mom, aunt Anabel & Grandma. 2001



The Winget Matriarchs: Vera, Lona, Glenda, Betty Jo, Wanda. 2003 (Thanks for the photo Liz!)




And finally, the only picture I have of a Buchert Beauties retreat:

2002