Summing up the Landscape of Love

I feel like I ought to have something special for this leap day, maybe Leap Love full of sudden and abrupt transitions? Or ...? But I don't have such a story for you today.

I've been trying to write about the most significant love event of the month for us: the transplant. I've got a couple of drafts going, but nothing I feel comfortable sharing at this point. It's too close and involves other family members that may or may not appreciate me publishing my perspective on the matter. Maybe down the road? Or maybe I'll never manage to be coherent (or public) about something so significant.

In lieu of my own verses, I offer you another poem (which I am pretty sure is in the public domain). I think it fits nicely to sum up Love Month here and on the poetry blog:


Again and Again, However We Know the Landscape of Love

Again and again, however we know the landscape of love
and the little churchyard there, with its sorrowing names,
and the frighteningly silent abyss into which the others
fall: again and again the two of us walk out together
under the ancient trees, lie down again and again
among the flowers, face to face with the sky.

~Rainer Maria Rilke


























Source.

Dornheim Kirche where Bach was married.

Thanks for humoring me in dwelling on one topic for so long. On to March and luck and all things Irish!

(Don't worry, I won't be going off on luck for the next 31 days....)

Love is Sacrifice

Source.






















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Source.

Things I Love: a cup of tea

Especially in this tea service infused with loving significance. I've come a long way in my relationship with tea: I genuinely like the stuff now (see this post). It's amazing how a little bit of sugar makes everything more palatable; I used to decline any sugar but at 16 calories a tsp., it's so worth it here. I've gone through several cups today....



























Now I'm off to curl up with that other hot liquid: the hot water bottle.

Love Gifts Pt. 2

One of the best valentines I've ever received was this Victorian fortune doll from Georgia of Tryst Press:



My scanner doesn't do her justice.



The lady's skirt is compiled of strips of paper that have fortunes on the back. Let me share some of her sage advice:

Have no secrets that you keep from your loved one. A third party is always disturbing.

Kindness is the sword with which you shall conquer, and the charm with which you shall captivate.

After dear affections are won, continue to repeat attentions that once made you so agreeable and fanned love into a consuming flame.

Nothing renders one so unpleasant to one's acquaintance, or is such a source of misery to one's self, as an offensive breath.

The love which does not lead to labor will soon die out.

Develop a loving disposition and you shall borrow less of the cares of life, and live longer than those with narrow and selfish natures.

Loyalty, faithfulness, confidence, are the three jewels to be cherished in courtship. Don't be a flirt.

Beware the silken enticements of the stranger, until your love is confirmed by protracted acquaintance.

You need not consider that you forfeit dignity if you speak with your whole heart.

Bear one another's burdens--look for them and lighten them--and so fulfill the law of love.


And so she continues.... Georgia gently encourages nurturing relationships is all kinds of creative ways; I love and admire her for that (among many other reasons). If I remember right, she didn't make these up but recreated an actual vintage doll. However, it is her just the same in the message and the medium.

A little good ol' fashioned love is refreshing.

Things I Love: clean sheets

Source.

Clean sheets pretty much sums up my day: loads and loads of laundry (including lots of sheets and bedding). Unfortunately, it was also a day when my tear ducts could have kept pace with the ever-going washing machine; if only tears could be as productive in cleansing soul-tiredness.

Clean sheets is a task and a reward though, I'm looking forward to my bed tonight.

Sweet dreams.

Love Gifts Pt. 1

While going through a box of old letters looking for something else, I came across this poem my sister wrote for me years ago. The "X" here refers to the Greek symbol for Christ.



























"God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him." 1 John 4:16

Spicy Love

Martin loves chips and salsa. When I met him, I think that's all he ate aside from the meals he gleaned at my house. A few years ago (maybe a decade now?) Rachel gave me this salsa recipe that has become a staple at our house. It's a semi-loose recipe that is subtly different every time I make it, but always pretty tasty.


Salsa

2 14 oz. canned diced tomatoes with green chiles* (drain 1)
1/4 - 1/2 onion, finely diced
1/2 - 1 green pepper, finely diced (optional)
juice of 1-2 limes and/or apple cider vinegar**
~ 1/2 tsp. sugar
1/2-1 bunch cilantro, chopped
some (1/2 -1?) fresh tomato, chopped
salt and pepper to taste
a few drops of tabasco sauce (optional)

*I've gotten into the habit of using one of my home-canned quarts of tomatoes and adding a 4 oz. can of green chiles instead. Either way works.

**If I have limes, I always use those and add about a tsp. of cider vinegar as well. If I don't have limes, I add at least a Tbsp. of vinegar, maybe more. I just kind of pour some in and sample until I get the balance right.

Also, since I find a lot of chopping tedious, I now throw everything into the blendtec and "pulse" all the ingredients to chop them up. This is much easier and faster, but the good ol' knife and cutting board never fails.

And, for the record, my favorite corn chips off the shelf are Sanitas. If you know of another brand that deserves a try, let me know.

Love of the Period Drama

I know I am late to the party, but this is one of my favorite ways to spend down time right now:

Source.

Skiing Update

We did go skiing Monday. Or at least, some of us did. We got to the ski area and realized we'd left Anna's jacket at home, so she and I hung out in the lodge while the others played. Martin did take Daffodil up on the lift and she surprised me by not being scared on the lift, but still a little anxious on the slopes. By the time we came home though, she said she was ready to go again.

Overall I am pleased with our skiing experiment. We obviously still need to improve our system for getting out the door fully prepared, but I am already seeing my hopes realized and then some. It's been worth it and, I imagine, it's just going to get better.





"The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love." Margaret Atwood

The Labor of Love

I went back to sit with my Grandpa Joe again tonight. I keep thinking of these words: "the patience of hope and the labor of love." I've been wrestling with how to upload an audio file here so you know what I'm referencing, but it is becoming clear I am not going to solve that problem tonight. In the meantime, go here and skip the last 30 seconds (the song ends at 4:30 and the last bit ruins it). Hopefully my technical difficulties will be fixed soon and I can include it here.

I Love Letters

I was supposed to try and face-time this morning with my mom who is on the other side of the world. Technical difficulties and a time mix-up got in the way though. I haven't done a very good job of communicating with her since she left a month ago to go teach in Abu Dhabi. After being stymied in connecting this morning, I wrote a brief update for her which I think I will share here in another private-gone-public letter. This references friends and family which may be boring, though I have put in links where I can. A few years ago I made a new year's resolution to send a letter or note of appreciation once a week. I have never been very consistent with the practice, though the latent desire to revive the art of letter writing persists. Here's the most recent installment from this morning:


Dear Mom,

I'm sorry we didn't connect this morning--that would have been the perfect birthday present! I think there might have been a time mix-up too. You are 11 hours ahead of us so 7 a.m. my time is 6 p.m. your time.... Maybe we should try again tomorrow? In the meantime, I am long overdue in giving you an update of things on our end.

The weekend you left I was in LA with Rachel and heard of your departure complications from Sarah. It made me think of our own series of mishaps moving to Hawaii. I will reiterate what I discovered then: there is sometimes a very thin line between adventure and nightmare!

Chi and I had fun. We spent several days at the California Gift Show checking out potential products for her business. It is always fun for me to hang out with her for any activity, so it was a treat to have several days at once! We had a sort of scary adventure Sunday afternoon trying to get back to our hotel from the garment district. We ended up in a LA-version of Tijuana and enlisted the help from some guy in a shoe store. He called a cab for us which ended up being an illegal cab (old, dirty, falling apart Toyota with no markings and a shredded ceiling). Rachel said she had the choke hold planned in the event he started for Mexico with us.... Monday we haunted some thrift stops recommended by LA-based Emily Henderson and had lunch with the famous Stephen Tobolowsky before heading out to catch our plane. He was gracious and, as you said, easy to talk to. As Rachel observed, you can tell "he definitely holds a candle" for you. It was interesting for me to get another view of you, albeit an oblique one largely based in the past. I'm glad you and Sarah encouraged me to contact him; it was fun for me to meet him in person. Alas, I didn't ask for a picture!

The weekend after I came home we went to another gymnastics meet at the U. I somehow had forgtoten that the women's gymnastics team is #1 in the nation! I always love watching gymnastics and the kids loved it too (& Martin tolerated it :)). We also had a gathering that weekend with Grandpa Joe: all five girls and some spouses with Dad at Grandma & Grandpa's to play cards. I'm proud to report that Diane and I beat Dad & Grandpa (after much crowing on their part that we were doomed making the victory that much sweeter!). Christa even got 1500 trump with Liz against Susan and Sarah!




















Speaking of Grandpa, you may have heard that he fell and broke his hip this week. They were worried he wouldn't survive the surgery but, thankfully, he did. It was looking a little iffy post-surgery, but he seems to have turned a corner now. They are doing some more tests and an MRI today because they think he may have suffered a stroke and/or another heart attack post surgery. He seems to know where he is now though and who his visitors are, so that is an improvement. I am going down to see him this afternoon.

Medical news dominates as Heidi also came out at the beginning of February and the long-hoped for transplant for George happened on the 14th! Everything went fairly smoothly. They can tell the kidney is working in George (so amazing!) and both patients are doing pretty well all things considered. Heidi is out of the hospital now and George may be discharged this afternoon. They will both stay another week at Johanna's to be close to the hospital in case of complications.

Tomorrow we plan to go skiing again. Eden has had the chance to go quite a bit with a friend in the neighborhood and guided Soren and I on our first trip down the mountain last time. They both love it and, now that I'm not dealing with the tow rope, I'm loving it too. Daffodil manages the bunny hill just fine and I hope to persuade her to try the easiest paths on the mountain tomorrow. It is so cute to see Anna sailing down on the harness with Martin. I don't think she's that close to going independently yet, but she does seem to enjoy it.

As far as school goes for me, no final decisions yet. I got a call from Utah's Assistant Dean yesterday informing me I've been re-accepted there. Martin and I are laying plans to go to Portland for Lewis & Clark's law preview in March. I will try to attend as many events at the different schools as I can in the next 6 weeks. I've got to put money down at BYU April 1st if we go there...

Martin is liking his new job. Ironically, there has been a bit of an adjustment back to academia from the corporate world. It has helped him appreciate in a new way the experience he's gleaned at Lochner. I am still not really clear on what it is that he does; I keep asking him and then tuning out when he answers my questions! He's also been busy with the Planning Commission. I sort of think they gave us false advertising re. how much time would be required for the volunteer position, but he has found the work really interesting.

I think that roughly summarizes things on our end. I can't wait to talk to you and get more details on your adventure!

Love,

Becca


p.s., I've been posting some good stuff over on the poetry blog. Y'all are missing out; invitations are still available, just say the word.

Love Song Addendum

As promised, here are a few more love songs:

Unchained Melody, Righteous Brothers
At Last, Etta James
The Way I Am, Ingrid Michaelson
Just the Way You Are, Billy Joel
Prairie Song, Gene Loves Jezebel
When the Night Comes, Dan Auerbach
2000 Miles, Coldplay cover


A few things I loved from today: a run on the parkway, lunch with a friend, a cozy nap in the afternoon, perusing new poetry books from Martin.

Love Songs Revisited

This may be cheating, but I think this deserves another round.* And, quite possibly, an upgrade: do you have any new songs (or new discoveries of older songs) in the last three years that you would add to this list? My additions coming tomorrow.

*My apologies for the links that no longer work....

A Couple of Quotes

One of the best descriptions I've ever heard about the giddy, uncertain stages of falling in love:

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


And what happens after the "delicious torment" phase? It's a matter of roots:

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two." ~ Louis de Bernières in Captain Corelli's Mandolin

This American Life

I know I mention This American Life a lot; I joke around that I practically proselyte for the radio show. What can I say? I love the stories. And this series of stories is definitely one of my favorite episodes ever.

A Special Valentine

Source.

Today was transplant day for Martin's sister (donor) and father (recipient). Can you think of a more beautiful expression of love on this Love Day? More on this to come after I've had a little more time to process. In the meantime, I'm happy to report that both patients seem to be doing pretty well. So far so good....

Birthday Wishes for a Boy I Love

*This isn't a great photo but I love Soren's face here; I can still see his echoes of his little-boy self.


1. I wish for you a secret game genie that you can call out of your bottle anytime you want to play something and other partners are scarce.

2. Daffodil wishes for you to live to 100.

3. Martin wishes for you that as you develop new interests, new friends will surface who share your interests; every 2nd time around that friend will be Mama and every 3rd time it will be Dad.

4. Another wish from Martin: a magic spoon. Every time you wash your spoon and use it for dinner, Daffodil won't chew with her mouth open, Eden won't interrupt you when you want to say something, and Anna won't poke you and climb around you on your chair.

5. I wish for you an interview with one of your favorite authors, except it won't feel like an interview, it will be more like an easy conversation with an old friend.

6. Heidi wishes for you a vacation to New York where you will kayak with Sam and canoe with your other cousins. You can even poke at the hissing barnacles covering the canal walls.

7. I wish for you a jump-start on developing some new interest or talent. That is, you can start something new and see some immediate, encouraging results.

8. I wish for you a tree-house maybe like this one or this one or this one, or a completely different design you come up with yourself. Please invite me for a sleepover.

9. I wish for you ease in conversation with anyone you wish: that you will not feel awkward in asking questions, or calling someone up on the phone, or initiating talk with someone you are interested in, or in reaching out to someone who might need you.

10. I wish for you a day of studying and performing with the Magic Castle Junior Group. Your honorary Sharp cousins might accompany you.

11. I wish for you a trip to Hawaii to play with the Petkos, Leungs, Jims, Higas, Adams, and Durkins. You might practice some surfing and make an excursion to the Big Island for skiing. The only caveat is you have to take me with you.

12. I wish for you that you will always have people around you who love and support you, that you will appreciate the gifts you have and use them in ways that will bring joy to you and those around you.

Our Lady of Love

A few years ago Martin gave me this antique pen and ink stand along with the little black book for recording love notes. I don't know much about the provenance of Our Lady of Love except that she belonged to Martin's grandmother at one time and now lives with us as our resident cupid.

I'm sharing her here partly because she's pretty fantastic, and partly because I think it's a great gift/practice for someone you love. If inscribing something in a book seems dauntingly permanent, there are other less formal (and/or Victorian) ways to give written expression to your thoughts and feelings. When Eden was pretty little I started a simple blank book for us to write letters/notes in back and forth to each other. I would write something for her and then leave it in her room for her to find and reply. When we were dating Martin gave me a stack of postcards that he wrote notes to me on. These days a private blog could be a digital alternative too. I'm not trying to talk anyone into anything really, just posing a possibility in case it appeals.

Anyway, even though our cupid doesn't get as much use as I'd like, I still love the idea and practice she represents. If you have other suggestions and ideas for cultivating correspondence, I'd love to hear them too.

Sibling & Cousin Love: an afternoon on the parkway

Valentines with Fortunes

Well, I abandoned the crayon hearts. I had a minor fire in the oven today when I went to bake birthday pie. In the end I bought a whole case of fortune cookies from the closest Chinese restaurant and the kids put tags on those. Even if you don't like the cookies, who doesn't like getting a fortune? I still have a couple hundred more so maybe I'll start handing them out randomly....


And speaking of valentines, I have to share the best valentine I've seen so far this year (incidentally, it includes a fortune of sorts too). My friend's, 6-year-old(?) daughter crafted this for her fellow classmate:

I bet Elora is relieved.

Valentines

I wanted to try this fun valentine idea from Today's Mama of making crayon hearts. It seemed like a fun and simple enough project to do with the kids and I always like finding candy alternatives. I got some small heart molds at Ikea and decided to try it even though my molds were not silicone.

When they say silicone, friends, they mean it.

I ruined one mold and a silver platter getting the crayon mess out of the oven (it was the first thing handy!) and got melted crayon all over the bottom of the oven.

I haven't decided whether I am permanently deterred from this project or not. I haven't been able to find silicone molds that are the size I want (i.e., small enough), though I could still use the remaining mold if I melted crayons in a pot and then poured into the mold. But where do you find boxes of crayons that are all 1 color?

Alternatively, I've thought of using the mold to make little heart-shaped glycerin soaps. I haven't decided whether I'm up for it, or if I will scratch any further attempts at some fun valentine concoction this year.

My two favorite things I've ever done for family & friends for valentines are making homemade fortune cookies (with bits of poetry for fortunes) a la Martha Stewart, and homemade love potions. One year I scored a whole box of little amber bottles from some science lab at BYU. I boiled the bottles so I wouldn't inadvertently contaminate the love, and then filled them with homemade lavender powder for the body or linens (sort of like this).

If you have other fun valentine ideas please share and, for the record, I'm still a sucker for frilly/doily/paper constructions of love.

Brahms "Romance"

Yesterday was a down day for me. Sickness is making the Great Succession through the ranks and things are a little subdued. Later in the afternoon I turned to a coping strategy I learned from my parents: making music. I pulled out some old favorites and sat at the piano a while. There is one Brahms piece in particular that almost feels like my signature piece and it was disturbing to realize I can't play it with the same facility that I used to (I'll be working on that). I also stumbled my way through another Brahms piece that I love and, given its title, I'm posting it here.

Brahms op. 118 no. 5, "Romance":


Stay well.

My Love Affair with Color Continues

Rice Bowls #2 (very similar to the first one, but not identical and hand-quilted this time).

For my next trick, I will be trying to piece a larger version of this in just one week (but no hand-stitching required!).

Torch Song

We can't talk about love for a whole month without mentioning the spurned variety. I've been there. Maybe you have too.



For a more humorous and entertaining exploration of the torch song, go here.

Carry on, soldier.

Ordinary Affections

Last night I was sicker than I remember being in a long while. I stayed in bed late today and Daffodil took it upon herself to wait on my every need and whim.

"Do you want the blinds shut, mama?"

"Do you want a drink of water, mama? I brought you one with lots of ice."

"I'll take care of you for the rest of the day, just let me know what you need."

"Let me give you a hug, mama."

I did emerge later in the afternoon to read to Anna on the couch and play a couple of games with the kids. After some leftover soup, Martin left with the children to go chase the sunset up the mountain and I stayed behind with my uneasy belly. Perhaps, later we will watch this together.

I anticipate some more reading and maybe sharing some newly discovered poems with Martin. I hope to feel better tomorrow; in the meantime, I'm glad to share the ordinary and every-day in this household.

Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.

~C.S. Lewis

Brontë Love

I just finished rereading Wuthering Heights yesterday. I remember really liking the book in high school; I was sort of intellectually captivated by the Heights vs. the Grange representing the Romantic vs. Classical world view. (Is that right? Where is Mrs. Brown when I need her?) I was not so enamored this time around. I found Heathcliff's vindictiveness and out-right abuse a little hard to stomach.

(Aside: this is not the first time I've gone back to a book I loved in high school and had a very different reaction. I also loved Crime & Punishment--again, largely because I found it very intellectually stimulating. I tried reading it again soon after Eden was born and found I had little patience for the frenzied, feverish mental anguish of Raskolnikov. But it might be time for another go.)

Apparently Wuthering Heights was written before Charlotte Brontë's Jane Eyre, but published after it in the same year after her sister's success. Initially, critics favored Jane Eyre, but in the 20th century Wuthering Heights overtook Jane in critical acclaim. I am firmly in the Jane Eyre camp.

I watched Jane Eyre for the first time a few years ago when I was laid up in bed one weekend with a cold. I loved the movie so much that I immediately read the 600+ page novel. For me the characters in Jane Eyre are more sympathetic and the love story is more gripping and satisfying. That 2006 Masterpiece Theatre mini-series still gets me every time.

As I was thinking about these two love stories, I started thinking about other favorite love stories. So far, this is what I've come up with:

• The Far Pavilions by M.M. Kaye A truly gripping novel for at least the first 500 pages. Do tell me if you manage(d) to put this one down.
  
• Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen Still my favorite of the Austen novels. FYMD stands for "Find Your Mr. Darcy."
  
• Crossing to Safety by Wallace Stegner. This is not a love story in the classic sense but still one of my all-time favorite books about relationships.
• The courtship of Laura Ingalls & Almanzo Wilder in the Little House books.
• These is my Words by Nancy Turner
• The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough. This isn't really one of my favorites but I do remember it as quite gripping.

And for the record, I prefer Beatrice & Benedick to Romeo & Juliet.


What about you? I think my list is pretty short; do you have some recommendations for me?

Love Bits from Found Magazine

I found out about Found from This American Life (for some reason, this story has always stayed with me). I love the concept for this magazine!

Here are a few Found love bits:

Nice Bike

Dear Virgil

Library Love Letter

Dream Girl

Best Skating Friend

Love Stories from StoryCorps

StoryCorps releases a new book today, and I'm eagerly anticipating my own copy to be delivered next week!



If you've never heard of StoryCorps, here's a brief intro from their website:

"StoryCorps is an independent nonprofit whose mission is to provide Americans of all backgrounds and beliefs with the opportunity to record, share, and preserve the stories of our lives. Since 2003, StoryCorps has collected and archived more than 30,000 interviews from more than 60,000 participants. Each conversation is recorded on a free CD to share, and is preserved at the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress. StoryCorps is one of the largest oral history projects of its kind."

I've read their first book and listened to the CD of Listening is an Act of Love multiple times and shared it around. I'm still kicking myself that I didn't get into that airstream trailer the week it parked by the Tabernacle in Logan. (Maybe it's a good thing I didn't, I might have just decided to make it my new home and gone on the road.:)) Our local NPR station will play excerpts of StoryCorps interviews on Friday mornings, and if I'm lucky I get to hear it on my way home from carpool duty.

I love this project. I love their motto, "every voice counts". I firmly believe that listening IS an act of love. My wonderful sister-in-law gave me a great gift a year ago: she recorded an 2+ hour interview I did with my own Grandpa after being inspired by this awesome program. We laughed and cried and I heard stories I'd never heard before (and my Grandpa loves to tell stories). Having that experience, and listening to/reading the other stories, makes me want to interview every one I love. Heck, I think I'd even love interviewing strangers. Chances are, dear reader, I'd beg to interview you.

Ready for some stories? Have a listen:














And, finally, this one. I can never get through this one without choking up:





Read today's love poem here.

Love Month

(Source.)

February is a month people love to hate. It is getting towards the end of weary winter and it's easy to resent persistent dreariness. I've always liked February (January is my personal nemesis), mostly I think because it is my birth month--tell me you don't have a special place in your heart for your birth month. :)

The other reason I am always happy when February rolls around is because it is Love Month. I have an inordinate fondess for Valentine's Day which does not come from a history of my own valentines, but because I love celebrating love and affection in all its forms.

Just as I am not restricting the love to romantic love, I'm not restricting the celebration to one day either. I am setting an intention for February this year: I am going to celebrate love in some form or another on this blog every day this month. Yep, that's a commitment.

I'll also be posting a poem on the theme every day on my poetry blog. This is a private blog for copyright reasons, but if you want to join this celebration too, email me or leave a comment with your email address and I'll send you an invitation.

Happy Love Month everyone; let the good feelings flow!